...And by ‘Gents’, of course, we mean anyone who has assumed the awesome pleasu—uh, responsibility of adoring a bosomy significant other.

Bravo to you, sir, or gentle madam, for finding your way to this page. I’m not going to ask what your search terms were. That’s the kind of sensitivity and discretion you may count on at Jenette Bras.

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, my god, this could be the thing that finally gets her to stop complaining about those same ginormous globes which represent for me nothing but the sheerest bliss. And speaking of sheer, is it too much to hope that we might kill two boobs with one stone, as it were? In other words, might the very garment that supplies her with relief of burden, likewise sing to me in soft tones of (there is no other word) titillation? Would I, in fact, earn massive relationship points for an arrangement which benefits no one more than myself? Would I find myself sucking the straw at both ends?

Indeed you would. Therefore the real question is how to manage the thing. You could, we suppose, text her a link to our home page and go back to playing Call of Duty. That doesn’t really sound very money, though, does it? A better move would certainly be to buy her a gift certificate. Drop at least $150 on there --that will get her a gorgeous bra. An extra $75 moves you into matching set territory, which is where true specialness resides.

Mind you, we’re happy to sell you gift certificates, but truthfully? That’s more for contingencies and relatives. The major move, the true throw down, is to personally escort your lady to the store. When she realizes to what a bazonga mecca you have brought her, your thoughtfulness, your deep concern, well…I hope I don’t have to draw you a map here.

March her up to the desk and your job is done. We’ll take her back and show her every option in her size while you peruse our stack of vintage Playboys. The articles are excellent. Pro tip: bring her on a weekday. There’s a fair chance you’ll hit a quiet minute when you can be invited into the fit room to judge the effect for yourself.

Down the road, special occasion, give us a call. We’ve got her sized and we took notes on what she liked. You’re going to look good to her, and she’s going to look good, period.

Well played, fortunate one.