Underwire: April Fool’s 2023

I’m pleased as punch to offer my clients an exclusive curated experience! In collaboration with Savage X Fenty, we have created an immersive 48-hour adventure: discover yourself on an expansive inward journey as you assemble your own bra at our weekend bra crafting retreat!

Experience the magic and sisterhood of laboring side by side (hour after hour!) with women of all ages and residency statuses. Challenge yourself to master the varied sewing techniques required to assemble 5 distinct pieces into a single, perfectly engineered garment! Push your limits as you strive to make quota on your first day (and then 50% more on your second day, as we cover for our sisters who inexplicably dropped out)!

You’ll have to arrange your own transport to our state-of-the-art sewing spa overlooking the Long Beach freeway on the outskirts of Bell Gardens. The event begins just after sunrise each day at 7am (come a few minutes early to participate in the ancient negative energy release ritual of the instant coffee) and goes until 3:30pm, unless we don’t make quota, with a half hour bag lunch break and two mandatory 15 minute rest breaks, which are also an opportunity to use the bathroom.

DM me for pricing 😉



Our staff is all atwitter with talk of an exciting new collab with META that we believe will greatly relieve the constant burden of vendor invoicing!

Basically, the idea is this: instead of stocking high priced, high quality European bras with all the attendant costs of shipping and processing, as well as the staff time spent in the fitting room coping with differences in fit between styles and brands, not to mention different customer body types and so forth, what if we just sell you an unlimited edition NFT of a beautiful bra in your size (or the size of your avatar)?

It’s a win-win for us and for you: we can run the store with a fraction of the current staff and space we use for analog bras, and you get the size, color and style you want every time, without delay! Nothing will ever be out of stock, and your bra will never need to be washed, never leave marks on your skin, and never wear out. Also, no back fat.


Understanding that the requirements of the fitter’s job have to change with the times, especially as we transition into blockchain-based undergarments (see above), we have begun to diversify our labor force with the hiring of our first feline bra-fitter!

Miss Howie (location TBA): Howie’s training has been going pretty well, with Howie proving herself a vocal and detail-oriented fitter with a fine sense of smell. Things to work on include staying on track (she gets distracted by hanging tags in particular) and claw retraction.


APRIL 1ST: We’re excited to announce SALT & BRAW, a tasty collab with Portland’s ice cream sensation, Salt & Straw. Working with our team, they’ve created three custom Jenette Bras Ice Cream flavors: Boobberry, Cleavage Crunch, and (Jenette’s favorite) Nipple Ripple!

Sticky, stylish, and STUNNING! Without a doubt, the hottest trend in bras is boob tape. We’ve searched the globe, from Belgium to Sherman Oaks, in search of the most adhesive, chic, and cutting edge event wear options. These looks will not only allow you to wear that unwearable formal dress, but they also ensure that you don’t go to bed with your date on the same night, if that’s a concern.

If you’re a small-to-average cup gal, you only need apply a few short strips of premium gaffers tape to create the shape of your dreams. Be sure to allot a couple of hours at the end of your night for the removal process.

If you’re a little fuller you might want to double up for extra support.

Save the extra tape for emergencies.

from Jenette Bras