I was the third girl in my third grade class at El Rodeo Elementary reckless enough to do a Cherry Drop. That’s when you sit balanced on a straight bar and throw yourself backwards, catching the bar in the crook of your knees, with enough force to swing through and drop off the bar and land on your feet and not your face. I got the idea from watching Diana Isaacs and Joanna Fields (later to achieve glorious infamy as Joanna Stingray). They were on the YMCA gymnastics team and their physical confidence was inspirational.

The thing about Cherry Drops is there’s no way to work up to them gradually. There’s nothing to do in the way of planning or figuring. You see it, you go for it and it works, or you flinch and you face-plant. Honestly, I would be well-adapted to a world where everything was straightforward like that, instead of this stupid place where the same thing that worked great last year is a colossal blunder this year; where one day Fate rewards the bold and another day she’s MVP of Team Thoughtful. I am comfortable in the leap. It is stillness that scares me.

We’ve doubled the size of our business in the last three years, in uncertain times as well, and now it’s necessary to hold and stabilize. Each new store is a labor of love, from finding the location to hiring the staff. My partner-husband has forbidden me to even think of opening another one in 2023. It feels like retail menopause.

We’ve been working for years to make the company independent of us, the owners, and we’re at least 2/3 of the way there. My husband now gets to focus more on his art career and I’m still in charge of marketing and kvetching, but that’s only a full-time job when I make it so. If we’re not opening another store in the immediate future, I’m basically left staring down the barrel of a gun called “What do you want the rest of your life to be?”

So that’s my New Years Irresolution: find a new bar to drop from, yes, but more so to sit in the space that’s opened up and not let the quiet make me crazy.

Wishing peace and beauty to you in the New Year.